“There is no such thing as a soulmate…and who would want there to be? I don’t want half of a shared soul. I want my own damn soul.” – Rachel Cohn
Ive hit a mark in my life, A goal, A self satisfactory point in my life in which i can rest my head and let it float to the clouds. Comfort has finally settled in. Theres only one thing my mind wants to drift towards however, no matter how many times I try to steer the almost overpowering thoughts driven by emotion, excitement, and a thirst that comes natural to the heart….But I dont want it.
Im a complicated person, its easy to say.
Im a fool, its easier to say.
Im in complete control of my emotions…well thats something I cant get on stage and brag about.
BUT thats the normal part of being human. The essential part of human interaction. The distinctions between human interaction via the use of emotions is a very very strong glue towards each other other than our physical body.
When tearing friendships and relationships apart that are held by this emotional glue, things can get painful.
Keeping that in mind, These emotions. We know they tie into our physical body, When someone is heart broken, the heart hurts, the body can become ill, from changes in appetite to the will to get outa of bed.
We know how emotions,feelings, can affect the body and mind..but what about the spirit.the soul. your energy. who you are beyond the vessel.
Theres not much to be known on that subject other than ones self experience mixed in with the few discoveries made.
(Did you know upon death, 21g of weight is lifted of your body?)
Scientist cant fathom as to what exactly goes missing, my guess is as good as anybody’s However i like to deal with self fact, and i strongly believe that the soul, your energy is what leaves.
So now assuming that..a ” soul ” is real. its who we are.
What is a soul mate???
There are several definitions found online:
“A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner”
“A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before”
“A soulmate is some one you have a very deep connection. It is not always easy explained. It is a meeting of mind, heart, body and soul on the highest of levels. Communication is at its easiest, as they understand you perfectly, and accept you completely with no judgments.”
A soul mate.. that sounds amazing!
However, how many times have we mistakingly found hes or shes soul mate only to realize the pain and aftermath left behind from such a mistake.. Yes.. we learn from relationships and hardships..but is it a must??
Is there truly such thing as a ” soul” mate.
An energy in which Your inner self and someone else can both vibrate at the same frequency on earth?
and if so..How do you know youve found that someone versus thinking you have..
Thats the issue im in now.
Ive found this amazing beautiful girl!
From the music taste and creative habits.
To her past, personality, and her Inner being.
Ive found myself falling deeper and deeper into the eyes of my best friend.
My best friend that ive known for 3 weeks.. yeah.
This connection.bond that formed between us in such a short period of time has begun to evolved into more than a friendship, at least for me.
ive had the issue of falling for girls to quick.
Ive had my share of butterflies, the “one” and ” my soul mate”
and ive never hesitated to jump into anything not caring for the outcome.
however..this time things are different.
this time my emotions towards this girl did not begin with a primitive superficial look.
(set aside that I have noticed how beautiful this girl truly is, her eyes, her smile. everything just captivating in my eyes)
Rather, it begun with simple activities,
As her and I hung out, I began to notice that everything I am doing with this girl…Is what i want to be doing with a girlfriend but have never found such a girl to do so with..
from sitting in her room drawing and coloring, to talking about our fascination in instruments, and the audio engineering side of music.
From listening to her music which might aswell be on my Ipod.
To having ” sessions” in the car.
having a girl on my side that can challenge my on a “lung intake” capacity
to having her listen to my crazy antics.
when im around this girl. Im me. IM werner. Im my inner self being just enjoying who she is and just being around her. I can care less about my past, who im suppose to be, what i think i should be like. Im just me around her.
Im a dork. a geek. at times immature.I have a love for the EDM track shes playing as much as the buzzcocks that was playing before that.
I try to find meaning in everything. my perspectives constantly changing, growing, im experiencing and am able to share my experience of life in such a detail and many times uninteresting run on sentences…yet she chooses to not only listen..but be involved.
I love that i can share anything and everything with her.
not only that..but that I cant contain the explosive need of sharing anything and everything with her.
The problem however…
is that
She dosnt want to be in a relationship
nor likes me as much as I like her..
And thats okay..because at this point, as much as I want to believe in a soul mate. I cant.
Not anymore.
I need to cut loose of that idea.and continue on.
A Clear Mind 